What happens when you play table tennis with a rotten egg?
First it goes 'ping', then it goes 'pong'.

How do you spot an idiot in a car wash?
He's the one on the bicycle.

What is a ringleader?
The first person in the bath.

What problem does a man who stands on his own two feet have?
He can't get his trousers on.

What do hangmen read?
Noosepapers.

Give me a sentence containing the word 'gruesome'.
Dad didn't shave for a week and grew some whiskers.

When does Q come before P?
During the interval at the theatre.

Where in London do people have the worst skin?
'Ackney.

What's the difference between a lavatory brush and a chocolate biscuit? You can't dip a lavatory brush in your tea.

What's a dirty book?
One that's been dropped in a pigsty.