Last month I changed my make up, hairstyle and handbag.
Did you change your underwear!

How do poos greet one another?
How do you do-do!

What’s an ig?
An Eskimo house without a loo!

What’s black, floats and breaks wind?
Crude oil!

What’s black, floats and says “Pardon Me”?
Refined oil!

Did you hear that the Department of Energy is looking to increase the use of wind power?
All their staff are being made to eat baked beans every lunch time!

I feel really sick, what shall I do?
You’ll soon find out!

What is red and stupid?
A blood clot!

Why is football so messy?
Because all the players dribble!

Why are trainers like spotty boys?
They both have pimples on their bottoms!