Clean poo The kind where you poo it out, you can see it in the toilet, but there is nothing at all on the toilet paper!

Cork poo Also known as the dreaded “floaters”. No matter how many times you flush, they refuse to sink!

Curry poo Beware eating a large curry the night before! Tell tale skid marks will be left at the bottom of the toilet requiring lots of flushing and use of the toilet brush!

Dangling poo You know you’ve finished… but it won’t drop! Vigorous shaking of the body required to sever links with the offending poo!

Ghost poo The kind where you feel the poo come out, but there's no poo in the toilet. A total phantom!

Goo poo No matter how many times you wipe your bum, you can't get it totally clean! In the end desperation requires you to line your pants with toilet paper!

I-wish-I-could poo You want to go, you really want to go, you sit, you strain, but all in vain!

Liquid poo A nasty one, sprays all around the toilet like a sneeze!

Log poo The poo that is so huge it refuses to flush away! Requires breaking up with the toilet brush first!

Painful poo A poo that’s so large it hurts and you think may be coming out sideways!

Second wave poo You’re all done, just about to leave the toilet and you realise there is more to come!

Snake poo A poo that’s long, very long, incredibly long!

Stinker poo The kind that smells so bad your nose burns!

Strained poo The kind where you strain so much to get it out you turn red with the effort!

Surprise poo You are not even at the toilet, you think you’re going to break wind, but, oh dear! A poo!

Turtle poo The kind of poo that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finally comes out!

Upper class poo The kind of poo that doesn't smell!

Weight watchers poo You poo so much you lose weight!

Wet cheeks poo The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water!

Windy poo The kind where it's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing when you reappear!