Patient: Doctor Doctor, I keep breaking wind. Is there anything you can suggest?
Doctor: Yes, take up wind surfing!

Patient: Doctor Doctor, my husband’s wind smells like rotting fish!
Doctor: The poor sole!

Patient: Doctor Doctor, I’m going bald, is there any cure?
Doctor: Yes, put a kilo of manure on your head every morning
Patient: And that will stop my hair falling out?
Doctor: No, but nobody will come near enough to you to notice you’re bald!

Patient: Doctor Doctor, will these pills to cure my wind don’t work!
Doctor: Why is that?
Patient: They keep falling out of my pants!

The wind is getting stronger
Here take these indigestion pills!

Who exploded at the Battle of Waterloo?
Napoleon Blownapart!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I’d like something to take this awful smell away.
Doctor: So would I!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I’ve got a Delhi-belly
Doctor: Don’t worry; I expect it’s just India-gestion!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a toilet!
Doctor: I thought you were looking a rather flushed!

Patient: Doctor Doctor, there is something wrong with my tummy!
Doctor: Well keep your jumper on and nobody will notice!