What do you call people who live in Europe?
European.
No, I'm not, it's just my water pistol that leaks.

There's a wind getting up.
Here, have an indigestion tablet.

What's a panther?
A person who makes panths.

When is underwear like flowers in the garden?
When it's a pair of pink bloomers.

What might you win if you lose ten kilos?
The Nobelly Prize.

How do you cope with a gas leak?
Send the person out of the room and open the window.

How do you make a loo roll?
Throw it down a hill.

Why were the guards outside Buckingham Palace arrested?
Because they paraded in their bearskins.

What did the toothpaste say to the toothbrush?
'Squeeze my bottom and I'll meet you outside the tube.'

What does a boy do when he wears his pants out?
Wears them in again.