When can’t a steam engine sit down?
When it has a tender behind!

What nut can you find in a toilet?
A peanut!

What vegetable can you find in the toilet?
A leek!

What famous artist had toilets upstairs and downstairs?
Toulouse Lautrec!

Why do traffic lights go red?
Well you would go red if you had to stop and go in the middle of the road!

What’s a sick joke?
Something you shouldn’t bring up in conversation!

Why did the man eat ten tins of baked beans?
He wanted to go wind surfing!

What’s the difference between poo and chocolate?
I don’t know.
In that case I’m not asking you to get me any chocolate!

How do you keep vampires away at night?
Eat garlic flavoured baked beans during the day!

Mum can I lick out the bowl?
No, you flush the toilet like everybody else!