I hear you buried your grandpa last week.
We had to, he was dead.

Why does your mum take you to school?
We're in the same class.

'Does your husband have life insurance?'
'No, fire insurance - he knows where he's going.'

What do Abominable Snow-mothers have?
Chill-dren.

How do you tell if it's raining?
I shut my little brother outside and see if he comes in wet.

Auntie Bet fell down the stairs last week.
Cellar?
No, we think she can be repaired.

'Does your sister still walk in her sleep?'
'Not since we covered the floor in tacks.'

What did Lot do with his wife after she'd been turned into a pillar of salt?
Put her in the cellar.

'Mum, are the Joneses very poor?'
'I don't think so. Why do you ask?'
'Well, they made an awful fuss when their baby swallowed a 10p piece.'

Why did you say your uncle had a bitter end?
He drowned in a barrel of beer.