What has two heads and five legs?
A horse with a one-legged rider.

What do you give a sick elephant?
A lot of room!

What do you get if you cross a lawnmower with a canary?
Shredded tweet.

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a bottle of laxative?
Out of the way!

And did you hear about the stupid dog that lay down to eat a bone?
When it stood up it only had three legs.

What smells most in a zoo?
Your nose!

Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Have you ever smelt a giraffe break wind?

You must teach your puppy how to behave. He just bit my ankle.
That's because he's not big enough to bite your neck.

How do you turn ants into underwear?
Put a “P” in front of them

Every dog has his day but only a dog with a broken tail has a weak end.