What's red and green and sloppy?
A frog in a liquidizer.

What do you get if you cross a duck with a pig?
Wet and dirty.

What wears a coat in winter and pants all summer?
A dog.

What do you call a flea in an idiot's ear?
A space invader.

Why did the cow jump over the moon?
The milkmaid's hands were cold.

What do you get if you walk under a cow?
A pat on the head.

Why did the bee fly with its back legs crossed?
It was looking for a BP station.

How did the piranha fish win the football pools?
With eight score jaws.

What does a bee sit on?
His beehind.

What do you get if you cross a hen with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.