What kind of bird impressions do you do?
I eat worms!

What’s a panther?
Someone who makes panths!

Two birds are sitting at an airport watching the planes. “Look at how fast they fly” said one.
“You’d fly that fast if your bum was on fire!” answered the other.

'My horse is very friendly, he'll even eat off your hand.'
'That's what I'm afraid of!'

What’s brown, smelly and goes round and round?
A long playing cow pat!

A man returned his new puppy to the pet shop.
“You said this dog was house trained” he moaned,
“But he goes to the toilet all over the house!”
”It is house trained” replied the shopkeeper “He won’t go anywhere else!”

My canary can lay square eggs
Wow, can it talk too?
Yes, but only one word – “Ouch!”

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer!

What has four legs and flies?
A dead sheep.

Have you put the cat out?
I didn't even know it was on fire!