What’s yellow and smells of bananas?
Monkey sick!

I hear you got into trouble at the zoo for feeding the penguins! Why was that?
I fed them to the polar bears.

What wears a coat all winter and pants all summer?
A dog!

Do you do the pools?
No it’s Fido, our new dog, he isn’t house trained yet!

Our parrot lays square eggs.
Does it talk?
Yes, but it can only say one word.
What's that?
Ouch!

Two pigeons are bored. “I know what we can do” says one of them.
“Lets go over to that car showroom and I’ll put down a deposit on a new car!”

What does a bumble bee sit on?
His beehind!

What do you get it you cross a piranha and a nose?
I don’t know but I wouldn’t pick it!

Why did the fish blush?
Because the seaweed!

A lady with a dog was waiting at a bus stop when up walked a man eating fish and chips. The dog's nose twitched, and he looked longingly at the man's food.
'He likes the smell,' the man said to the lady. 'Do you mind if I throw him a bit?'
'Not at all,' she replied.
So the man picked up the dog and threw him across the road.